Office Goose $HONK
ContractSOON

Promoted without consultation

Office Goose

The loudest employee now approves everything.

Office Goose, a white goose in a navy tie, beak open mid-honk

Chain of Command

The office still has five departments. They now report to the goose, usually before he has finished entering the room.

  • Ticker$HONK, filed under compulsory morale.
  • Job TitleActing boss, permanent interruption.
  • Desk PolicyAny flat surface belongs to management.
  • Meeting StyleArrives late, speaks first, leaves with the agenda.
  • Approval MethodOne honk means yes. Two means the question was unnecessary.

First Promotion

He joined payroll on Monday and owned the building by lunch.

Management Style

He runs a practical office: visible urgency, selective listening, and absolute confidence around stationery.

  • Open Door

    Mostly because he removed it from its hinges.

  • Clear Direction

    Forward, louder, and directly through the quarterly review.

  • Tie Standard

    Crooked enough to imply work has already happened.

Office Goose

Management has spoken.